


A Second Chance

by APuRpLePoPtArT



Category: The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 04:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 18,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1415173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/APuRpLePoPtArT/pseuds/APuRpLePoPtArT
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ok this is so blatantly AU. I needed Alicia to at least get a chance to tell Will that she made a mistake, and she wants to figure out how to make it work between them.  I read recently that this was the power of a fanfic, to make the reality our own.  I know Will is gone but dammit him and Alicia were end game!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Call

             “Eli I need to speak to her. Will’s been shot, Eli. They don’t know if he’s going to make it. I NEED to speak to Alicia.”

              “Yes, just a second”

       Eli walks to Alicia and taps her on the shoulder,

                “There’s a call for you”

                “Now?”

                “Yes, you have to take it.”

            Eli can see it in Alicia’s eyes when Kalinda tells her, he knows the moment her knees go weak and he worries she might fall over.  He grabs her shoulder to steady her but she pushes him off. He tells her to go, where he’s telling her to go he’s not sure, and as Alicia walks away she’s not sure where she’s headed either.  Before she can comprehend what she’s doing she’s in her car, it’s eerily quiet and as she sits at the stop light and watches, the world continues on around her. How can people still be shopping, how are they walking!?! Will might not make it! She doesn’t know where to go, she’s afraid to go to the hospital, she doesn’t want to see the aftermath of the shooting, but she isn’t sure where to turn. In a strange daze Alicia finds herself at LG and she’s riding the elevator to the 28th floor. When she sees Diane she knows she made the right choice. It’s when she’s clinging to the older woman’s arms for dear life that she realizes this was the best place to go. She knows from her phone call with Kalinda that Will is in surgery and she says she’ll call when she knows more so the two women wait in Diane’s office.

          When the phone rings hours later Diane and Alicia grip each other’s hands tightly and suddenly, Alicia is crying and she’s pulling Diane to her feet. They rush to the hospital to be at his side. Kalinda meets them at the door and takes them to him. He’s as pale as death but there is a comforting beep of his heartbeat on a monitor by his side. Kalinda tells Alicia that his sisters will be there soon and Alicia knows when they arrive she will no longer have the right to be by his side.  When his sisters arrive Diane introduces them, it’s oddly formal considering why they are all there. Alicia leans down and places a gentle kiss on Will’s forehead and turns to go.

           When she’s home Alicia checks her phone it’s the first time she’s looked at her phone since she answered Eli’s phone earlier that day.  She checks her phone too late to find out that Peter is coming over, and he’ll be here soon. But worse than that, is the missed call at the top of the list.

            At the top of the list is a missed call from Will Gardner, and a voicemail.

 


	2. The Light Bulb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment Alicia realizes it was a mistake

               She’s sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in her hand, she’s listened to the voicemail at least 3 times now.

                  “Alicia, {hold on your honor}, I’ll call you back.”

                She’s finished the phone call a million times in her mind, first he’s telling her he’s sorry for the whole feud  and that they should get coffee sometime, he says he misses his best friend. In another scenario he’s angry about Charlotte the most recent client acquisition, in yet another he’s asking for her help with Jeffery Grant.  

                 This is how Peter finds her, he’s not used to seeing her like this, it scares him to see her so lost. She stands when Peter comes in, she’s not sure how this is supposed to happen.  Does she cry on her husband’s shoulder over her ex-lover?  She’s not entirely sure what to say and she’s positive that she doesn’t want Peter’s hands on her.

                  Before she can protest Peter is putting his arms around her and pulling her into the circle of his arms, and suddenly Alicia is nauseous.

                  She runs from the room and collapses in her bathroom in front of the toilet. When there’s nothing left in her stomach she curls up on the floor and thinks of yet another scenario,

               “Alicia, I’m sorry, I want what we had, I want to be with you and only you, forever, call me back please.”

            Lying on the floor of her bathroom, a light bulb goes off in Alicia's brain. She knows in that moment where she needs to be, she just has to figure out how to get there. 


	3. Ready and Willing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok yeah so that was a terribly intended pun in the tittle, let's face it I'm a little off my rocker these days, and a two week break is not helping so... anywho Will is awake and he's asking for her. Will Alicia go? Read, Review and Enjoy.

                  It’s early in the morning, she’s lying in her bed although she’s not sure how she got there or why she’s wearing the pajamas she’s wearing, she hasn’t worn them in years and she’s not sure why she still has them. Her eyes are scratchy like she’s been crying and her head is pounding and she can hear her phone ringing. She reaches for her phone and sees an unknown number flash on the screen. She starts to ignore the call but something makes her stop. She Answers the call with a pathetic greeting.

                     “Hello?”

                     “Is this Alicia? Alicia Florrick?”

          When Alicia hears the unknown voice on the other end of the line the previous days and nights slam in to her. She is awake faster than she’s ever awaken before.

                     “Yes, who’s this?”

                   “Alicia, I’m Aubrey, Will’s sister, Will Gardner’s sister”

             Alicia sends out a fervent plead to the universe, please don’t let this be the phone call I’ve been dreading, please don’t let this be the call that will shatter my heart.

                       “Alicia,” Aubrey pauses, “He’s awake”

        Alicia’s heart jumps and begins beating wildly, Aubrey continues,

                    “He keeps saying your name, he’s not really with it, but we think he wants to see you. Can you come?”

                 Alicia starts scrambling to find her clothes. She’s trying to breathe and answer Aubrey at the same time.

                       “I’ll be there as soon as I can get a cab, I don’t think I should drive but I’m coming Aubrey, tell him I’m coming.”

               Alicia hung up the phone and threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt and stumbled out to her living room her phone in hand to call a cab. That was when she noticed Kalinda asleep on her couch. How much did they have to drink last night? It must have been K that had put her to bed last night and then stayed with her. She had missed Kalinda these past few months and she was sad it had taken something like Will being shot to bring them back together. But that wasn’t what worried her now, she knew she should tell Kalinda, Will was awake but she didn’t want to have to share the time she might have with him. She decided to leave a note next to K telling her what had happened and she headed out the door.

                The ride to the hospital seemed like the longest car ride Alicia had ever taken. As she arrived at the hospital she rushed to the elevator and rose to the floor where she had left Will so many days ago.  She remembered leaving him that day, with an ache in her heart so deep not knowing if he would ever open his eyes again or if she would ever get the chance to say what she needed to say to him.

                But just as suddenly as she had gotten the phone call she was arriving at his floor. As she stepped off the elevator she was as sure as ever that she was ready to tell him, to tell him everything. As soon as he was ready to hear it she was going to tell him she was divorcing Peter, and that if he would still have her she would be his. She was ready to take the so rarely given second chance. 


	4. All the Cards Are on the Table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia sees Will awake for the first time since the shooting, will it go the way she plans?

Her resolve starts to fade as worry sets in. What will he look like? Will he be in pain? The thoughts swirl around in her brain as she walks toward ICU room number 8. She pauses outside the door and uses the time it takes to wash her hands with sanitizer to collect her thoughts. She was excited and nervous, she had accepted that she was opening a door to her future, if he would have her. She inhaled sharply and turned the handle to enter the room. She stepped inside a stood just inside the room.        

                Alicia realized that the past few months of her life had been peppered with more awkward moments than ever before, and this moment was not exempt. As she had entered every eye in the room had turned towards her. Will’s sister, Aubrey, was the first to speak.

                “You must be Alicia.” It was a statement more than a question.

                “I’m Aubrey,” she offered her hand to Alicia, then gestured to her older sister, Sara.

                “And this is Sara.” Then she pointed to Will, who was watching Alicia,

                “And the crazy guy in the bed we think you already know, he sure knows you, didn’t stop talking about you for 2 hours after he woke up.”

Alicia had taken Aubrey’s hand when she offered it then offered her hand to Sara.

                “Yes I’m Alicia, it’s nice to finally meet you two; Will used to talk about you a lot.”

Feeling like she had been accepted she stepped closer to the bed and looked at Will. Will’s eyes caught hers and she felt a relief so grand it could not be described in any words known to man.

                “Hey, you.” She said as she looked at him.

Will appeared to be thinking for a moment then quietly whispered back

                “Hey”

Alicia turned to look at Sara and Aubrey still feeling a little unsure about what she was about to do, but for her own self-preservation she needed the next few minutes to be between just her and Will.

                “Aubrey, Sara, I know you don’t know me and I probably shouldn’t even ask this of you guys since I can’t say that I really deserve it, but can I have a few minutes alone with your brother?”

                The two women looked at Will as if asking his permission and when he gave a small nod they headed toward the door patting his leg and telling him they were just going to go get some coffee and something to eat but they’d be around if he needed them.

                Alicia knew in her head and heart what she wanted to say to Will, but putting it into words was proving to be more difficult than she had thought. She was about to change everything in her whole life, and hopefully she would be changing Will’s too. She sat in the chair closest to Will that Sara had vacated and took his hand in hers. As she held his hand she looked at him in the eyes. And solemnly declared,

                “You scared the hell out of me, William Paul Gardner, and if you ever scare me like that again, I’ll kill you myself.” Alicia had thought she could hold it together but as she said the words the fear leaked back in. She had been so close to losing him and she would never have had the chance to tell him everything she needed to tell him. Salty liquid escaped her eyes and tracked its way down her cheeks.  Suddenly even the weight of her head seemed to be too much. She laid her head down on their joined hands. She just needed a moment to let the storm inside her calm. With her head still on his hands she continued,

                “Will, I was so scared, I’ve made so many mistakes the past few years and I thought I’d never be able to tell you how sorry I was. Will I- I need to tell you something. The last few months have been a blur, and the last few days have been a nightmare. I realized when we weren’t sure whether or not you would make it, I realized that I need you. My life without you would go on but there is this piece of me that you own, a piece that mattered much more than anything I thought could, “Alicia looked up at Will,

               “William Paul Gardner, I love you, and I know that this won’t be easy but Will, if you’ll have me, I want you, only you, forever.”    

                 Will looked stunned and seemed to forget about his injured shoulder and abdomen as he tried to reach for Alicia. He groaned instead. Alicia ever the mom went into protector mode and asked if he was alright and if she needed to get a nurse.

                  “No Alicia, its fine.  Just got a little caught up in what you just said. “

                  “I’m going to David Lee to file for divorce tomorrow morning.” Alicia announced quietly. “ I'm sorry it took you getting shot to realize how very much I need you.” Using his good hand Will placed his hand on Alicia’s cheek and used his thumb to wipe away the tears still running down her face.

                “Alicia, do you remember the day you asked me about the second voicemail? Remember how I said that I thought you made the right choice with Peter? That was a lie. I told you I loved you that night, my plan was I loved you, to be honest I’ve probably loved you since Georgetown.”

                Alicia had thought she was all cried out those nights of lying in bed waiting for news of Will, but as she sat there with her face resting in his hand but the torrent of tears that poured down her face after hearing those words from Will proved the tears had simply been hiding behind a dam and now the dam was broken.  

               Just then there was a knock and Sara and Aubrey came back in followed closely by a groups of doctors. Alicia raised her head and took Will’s hand in hers. Everyone gathered around the bed while Sara and Aubrey glanced nervously at Will and Alicia, it was obvious they had all walked in on a very emotional moment. The doctor who seemed to be the head of the group spoke up,

              “Well, Mr. Gardner, it looks like we’re going to move you down to the regular ward and have the physical therapist look at you tomorrow morning. Depending on how your pain is and how you're feeling in general you should be able to go home in about four days. “He paused, “depending on how comfortable you feel we recommend having someone stay with you or staying at someone else’s house for a few days. So we’ll let you have a few more minutes here and we’ll see you tomorrow.” With that the doctors replaced his chart at the foot of the bed and headed out the door. And Aubrey spoke up,

                “Well looks like I get to spend another exciting week with my big brother!”

Will looked at Alicia and used his eyes to beg her to save him. He loved his sisters but he’d already had his fill of them in the hospital. Alicia gave him a small smirk, would she save him or feed him to the wolves?

 

               

            

                

 

 

                


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will is doing great and they have some insight on when he might get to come home, but what lies in the future for our lovers cursed with bad timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> italicized to indicate a memory.

                Alicia finally made it home later that night after stopping by the office and working for a few hours, she had promised Will she would be by tomorrow and that they would talk more when their timing was a little better. Even now the curse of bad timing still followed them. She was exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally, but she knew she still had to talk to Zach and Grace. She didn't want to hurt her children but she was pretty sure they had heard the fight a week ago, she had gone a little nuts on Peter and while she normally would have taken the fight to the hallway she had ceased to care at that point. She remember that night as the night she realized how done with Peter she was, it had been a hell of a week and she finally had a day to take a break

                  _She had walked in the door and crawled into bed, she had wanted to pull the covers over her head and never come out again. So how she ended up on the floor in the bathroom she still hasn't figured out but that was how Peter had found her later on that night._

_Peter had come in and saw her curled on the cold tile of the bathroom and picked her up, He had put her on her bed and started  to change her clothes. Alicia had felt so lost, she knew Peter was trying to help her but it had scared her how much she wanted him to get his hands off of her, she wanted him to stop acting like he had a right to do this for her. To comfort her to try and make her feel better. Suddenly she had screamed and slapped his hands away, it was like she had taken a temporary break from sanity. Peter had backed off and Alicia had calmed down as she huddled on the bed half undressed, Peter had simply stared, he’d never seen her like this, not even when her dad passed away. He had said her name quietly, worrying as if speaking too loudly might startle her and set her off again._

_“There’s some clothes for you on the end of the bed, I’m gonna go make you something to eat, Grace said you haven’t eaten yet.” He turned around to leave._

_Alicia slowly started to climb into the clothes Peter had set out for her, she never knew losing someone could hurt so much, it had seemed like everything had hurt and breathing is took more work than it was worth, and felt like the world was spinning way too fast. Once she’d gotten dressed she had crawled into bed and pulled the covers back over her head._

_Two days later Alicia was still hiding under the covers, the kids had thought she was sick with a virus or something. She had slept most of the time, slept and dreamt about times with Will. She could see his eyes looking into hers. She had felt his hand grasping hers in the elevator on that first amazing night in the hotel. She heard his voice on the phone, not just the last phone call but all the others,_

_“I kinda miss you”_

_“I kinda miss you too”_

_Alicia’s world had been slowly collapsing in on her and there didn’t seem to be any kind of support. There had been nothing to hold her steady, it had been shaky and disjointed just like she was. She was untethered and she couldn’t stand to feel anything. She was barely awake when she heard a voice, the voice barely pierced the fog, but sadly she’d know that voice even when she’s not entirely sure she wants to hear it._

_Peter had walked into her bedroom and took in the state of her room, he was not entirely sure how to react to the disarray around her. She  sat back against the head board and wrapped her arms around her knees. Peter had looked at her and it had been a face somewhere between anger, disgust and fear._

_“ you missed the founders dinner, I was worried about you. You ok?”_

_“ I really wish people would stop asking me that, I’m fine” Alicia swung her legs over to sit on the side of then bed._

_“You know I don't often ask you to go to these political events” He paused,_

_.           “Alicia the way you’re handling this,”_

_“I'm …doing…my… Best”_

_With that Alicia stood up and walked to the kitchen, Peter had followed her and it had all gone downhill from there, he had spouted his usual bullshit about how when he had cheated it didn't matter and Alicia had snapped,_

_“Well then that was a waste, because when I cheated it did!” She had screamed it at him, right before throwing him out of the house._

              If that conversation hadn't clued Peter in to the fact their marriage was over she wasn't sure what would, other than the divorce papers showing up on his desk. She was fairly certain the kids had heard everything since Zach was avoiding the house at all costs and Grace gave her sad, disappointed stare every chance she got. Alicia could only hope that it would make the conversation she was going to have with her children easier.

            Alicia walked in the door and placed her keys in the bowl. She called out to the kids to let them know she was home Grace came out a few minutes later while Alicia poured herself a glass of wine,

            “Zach’s at his girlfriend’s, I don’t think he’ll be home until later.” Grace let the sentence hang, she knew her mom, and she could tell something was up and it was more than just Will being in the hospital.

            “What’s up, Mom?”

Alicia finished her glass of wine in one swig, and promptly poured another.

            “Grace,” she started “You know I love you, and that your dad loves you, right?”

            “Yeah, mom I’ve known since I was old enough to hear you talk.”

            Alicia figured it was just easier to dive in, Grace was going to be upset no matter how she phrased it and she was going to be upset and all Alicia could do was prepare for the windfall.

            “Grace, I’m going to a lawyer to file for divorce from your father. We want different things in life and we’re not the same people we were when we got married, we’re not even the same people we were five years ago and I think it’s time that we admitted it and started to move on with our lives.”

            Alicia waited for the inevitable tears from Grace and the backlash, she chugged the wine in her glass and started to pour the next glass, it seemed like one of those nights when she might finish off the whole bottle.

            “Mom, will you be happy? Without dad?”

            “I think so Grace, I really do, I’ll love you father as long as I’m alive but I’m ready to move on.”

            “Did you mean what you told dad the other night? When you said you lost your husband a long time ago? Did it ever really get better, mom or were you just pretending?”

            “Grace I really did try, he was the father of my children, and for 15 years we were happy, but somewhere along the way we got lost and not everything in the world can be found again.”

            Grace nodded then wrapped her mother in a hug,

            “I can’t say I’m thrilled mom, but I just want you to be happy, thank you for trying, you know for us.”

            Alicia sighed and kissed the top of Grace’s head,

            “You’re getting so big, I’m not sure when you grew up on me but I am so proud of you and who you’ve become. I love you sweetie, now I’ve had a ridiculously long day and I think I’m going to order a pizza for dinner and take a hot bath.”

            Alicia walked to her bedroom and started running the bath, while she waited for the tub to fill she made a few calls. She ordered the pizza, left Zach a voicemail that she needed to talk to him, and left a message with David Lee’s assistant to make an appointment to start the paperwork. The last call she made was the most important, she finally called Will. It had only been a few hours since she had left him at the hospital but she felt like it had been forever. She was a bundle of feelings, nervous and excited and scared and worried all at the same time.  She dialed his cell number and waited for him to pick up.

            “Hey beautiful, I was just thinking about you,”

            “oh yeah? What were you thinking?”

            “I was thinking that I knew I loved you before I met you. From the moment I saw you in your sundress at orientation reading a book with your feet in the water. When I get out of this bed, I’m going to try to impress you again with my cannon balling skills.”

            Alicia laughed,

            “They must have given you meds before I called, eh?”

            “They did. A magical man with many good medicines”

            “I think I’d better let you go so you can get to sleep, I’ll stop by tomorrow is there anything I can bring you?”

            “Yes.”

            “And what would that be?”

            “I want a beautiful woman, who will rescue me from my crazy sisters and stay with me when I get out of here and she will make my sister go home.”

            “Seems like quite a bit to ask, Mr. Gardner, you may just have to deal with me, but we’ll see what we can do about your sister. In the meantime gets some sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

           

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will's coming home but does anything ever happen as planned with these two?

It was 10:00 in the morning on Thursday, Alicia was frantically trying to get herself packed and out of the office. She was due at the hospital to take Will home. She’d arranged everything with Owen would stay with the kids until Friday night when Peter had them for the weekend.  The plan was that by the time the kids were back on Monday afternoon Will would be adjusted and comfortable enough to go it alone.

                When Alicia arrived at the hospital, Will as already waiting for her in a wheelchair in his hospital room, both of his sisters flanking him on either side like an honor guard. Sara and Aubrey were a little unhappy with Will or Alicia. Just as she had promised Alicia had broached the subject of Aubrey staying with Will when he was released and after some very tense moments in the hospital room they had reached an agreement. Sara was flying home, she’d been away for long enough and with Will making a full recovery she needed to get back to her husband and daughter. Aubrey would stay on for a few more days so that Alicia could go to work and Alicia would cover the nights when she got home from work. Then once Aubrey was on the plane on Monday Alicia would be on call in case Will needed anything.

                Alicia was beyond ready to have some actual alone time with Will. Time without doctors, and nurses and sisters. They had a lot to talk about. The road ahead of them was going to be bumpy and filled with potholes.

 

 

                Alicia rushed to Will’s house from the office to find him in a standoff with Aubrey. It seemed Will was tired of being cooped up and wanted to go for a walk and Aubrey wouldn’t move from in front of the door. Alicia had spent the past week acting as mediator between the two and it reminded her of Zach and Grace.

                “Ok everybody to neutral corners.” Alicia announced in her best mom voice as she walked into the silent stalemate.

                “Why don’t we see if we can come up with a compromise here? Will we need to go pick up your prescriptions and as usual you have nothing but beer in your fridge so we need to pick up a few things. So you can come with me and Aubrey, how about you go and have some time for yourself, go have a drink or get some dinner. I promise I won’t let him over due it and we’ll take it easy. “

                Aubrey reluctantly agreed. She never really stood a chance against two of the top lawyers in Chicago. Alicia helped Will get his coat on and they headed out the door to run their errands.

 

 

                After they’d run their errands, Alicia cooked Will dinner and they were relaxing on his couch watching an old Steven Seagal movie called “Out For Justice” neither was paying very close attention to it though. They were sitting side by side with their hands sliding over each other’s.  Alicia turned to Will.

                “David Lee called today.” She let the sentence hang, Will looked at Alicia.

                “Apparently Eli intercepted the process server and Peter still hasn’t been served. Then Eli called. He wants me to wait a while longer to file.” Taking a breath Alicia reached the most difficult part of her declaration,

                “I agreed to wait a few months to file in return Peter says he won’t contest the divorce, it’d only be a few more months. I still want to be with you. I’m not going back to him, nothing will change just a few dates on paper.”

                Will looked stunned. He had known that starting anything with Alicia would be complicated, and far from sunshine and daises. But this, he didn’t want to ride the same roller coaster they had been riding.

                “Go home, Alicia.”

                Will wouldn’t even look at her.

                “Will, I-I, Will I love you and I am where I want to be I just need time. I need time to sort everything out. I feel like I’m on a merry go round that’s spinning too fast and I can’t get off.” Tears had started to build in her eyes. She hated this, she was so tired of crying. Only Will Gardner could make her cry this much. Not even Peter had ever gotten to her like this. Even at Georgetown Will had always known just how to twist the knife to bring on the tears.”

                “The problem is, Alicia, we always come back to it. I would have given you time if you’d asked for it. All I’ve ever done is given you what you wanted. I waited for you to be comfortable taking the next step, I let you walk away when you said it was too much, I learned how to exist in a courtroom with you as my enemy, while watching you and wanting you. Well guess what Alicia, it’s too much for me this time and I think I’d like to take some pain medicine and go to bed so you can just go home.”

                Alicia felt like she couldn’t breathe, she didn’t have a clue what to say. She didn’t think he’d be thrilled but never in her worst nightmares had she imagined him throwing her out of his house.

                “I’ll call Aubrey and let her know that I’m leaving, I’ll see you around.”

                With that Alicia headed home, she texted Aubrey and let her know that something had come up and that she had headed home but that Will was going to bed, and reminded her that if she needed anything that she could call anytime.

               

It was well after midnight and Alicia was well on her way to being wasted. She had finished off a bottle already and she was halfway through the next and she still didn’t feel any better although TV seemed to be a little funnier, she knew she should go to bed, but she wasn’t ready to let down her defenses and sleeping would leave her completely defenseless, she was starting to wonder if anything in her life would go the way she planned. She got up to peer fruitlessly in to the fridge when she heard a knock. She glanced at the clock and wondered who on earth would be knocking at her door at 12:48 at night.

Whoever it was seemed to be impatient and as Alicia stumbled toward the door she realized just how much she had had to drink, they continued knocking. How Alicia made it to the door in one piece remained a mystery as she managed to stub her toe, but her hip against the counter and bang her hand on the corner of the table in the entrance way physically and mentally tonight she was batting zero.

As she opened the door she gasped loudly and jumped backwards.

“What are you doing here?”


	7. Mistakes We've Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone is on Alicia's doorstep, what happens now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was brought to you by the inspirations provided from   
> Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx  
> Beauty and the Beast - Disney/ Celine Dion

             Alicia opened her door to Will attempting to look cool leaning on her door frame with his good arm. Stashed in the sling of his bad arm was Will’s iPod, and the iPod was playing a song, Alicia could hear the lyrics as they played from the inside of the sling,

           “Wherever you go

Whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes

Or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you”

 

Alicia was caught somewhere between amazed, stunned, and amused. She was laughing and crying as she grabbed the wrist in his good arm and pulled him into her entrance way. She didn't want the neighbors to complain about the music so late at night. Once she had him inside she looked at his face, he was looking at her with his intense puppy dog eyes that no one wore quite like Will Gardner. Those puppy dog eyes had always been her downfall when it came to Him.

              He didn't say anything as he leaned in and captured her in a kiss. She resisted at first but as Will’s younger traced her lips requesting permission to deepen the kiss she relented and wrapped her arm around his neck being careful of his injuries, while she cupped his cheek with her other hand. It was the first time they’d kissed since that fateful night in Will’s car, just before the whirlwind had landed. They explored each other’s mouths as their bodies aligned in a way that only lovers who know each well can do. As they came up for air, Alicia realized that Will’s iPod was still playing, he must have made a playlist of songs just for her, this time it sang,

 

“Tale as old as time

True as it can be

Barely even friends

Then somebody bends

Unexpectedly…”

 

Alicia recognized the song immediately, when she would get stressed and all the cases were swirling around in her brain in law school, Beauty and the Beast had been her guilty pleasure. She could remember at least twice that she had forced Will to sit on her couch and watch it, it had been that or he’d have been committing her to the nearest mental hospital for a mental break down. Silently Alicia slid her hand into Will’s the brought there clasped hands between them then rested her cheek on his chest just above them and together they danced. As Alicia danced with Will in the entrance way of her apartment she was suddenly overwhelmed,

          “I love you will,” she whispered against his chest.

           “Please don't give up on me. I know I've made so many mistakes, and I- I don't deserve you, but I promise I'm going to make it up to you.”

            Will reached down and gently lifted her chin so that he could look into her beautiful eyes.

             “Alicia Cavanaugh Florrick, I love more than I know how to put into words, for every breath I took trying to hate you I took two more remembering how much I love you. I fell in love with you at Georgetown I was just too stupid and young to admit it, and if you love even half as much as I love you, that makes me the happiest man on earth. You are the most selfless person I know, and the strongest person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.”

            Will leaned down to kiss away the tears that had started to roll down Alicia’s cheeks.

             “I'm so sorry that I told you to leave Thursday night, and even more sorry that it took me 3 days to get my head of my ass and come after you.”

              Alicia gave a watery laugh,

             “On that note, Will, how did you here?”

.                  Will grinned,

                   “I told my sister if she didn't drive me over here I'd walk, and that I wasn't waiting until morning. She agreed pretty eagerly, apparently I'm not great company when I miss you.”

                   “So did you have a backup plan? You know in case I hadn't been home, asleep or possibly not hearing you out?”

                 “I wasn’t worried, I even packed my pajamas, the thing is you love me too much to have left me on the doorstep, and you’ll always let me in.”

                “Pretty sure of yourself, Gardner.”

                “There’s a reason I have top billing in the largest law firm in Chicago, my dear. And speaking of pajamas I need to get my bag off your front step, then I need to sit down or possibly lay down…”

                 “Oh my god Will why didn't you say something sooner, I'm so sorry!” Alicia looked panicked, “you can go lay down in my bed while I get your bag and we can watch TV or something, go I’ll be right there.”

                  Alicia found his bag right outside her front door, where he had set it to pose himself after knocking. She brought it inside and locked the door. She stopped by the kitchen to put away her wine, and grab a bottle of water for Will in case he needed to take pain meds. She walked into her bedroom to see Will sleeping propped up on her headboard. She gently woke him up and helped him undress and get ready for bed. She helped him slide under the covers and get settled. Then she went to bathroom to get herself ready. When she returned she slid in next to his good side and curled herself up to him. She fell asleep almost immediately. She knew that cuddled next to him she’d finally be getting a decent night’s sleep.


	8. Caught in the Act

               Sunlight was streaming in through the windows bathing Alicia in a warm glow, but it wasn’t the light that had woken her. Coming from somewhere close to her was a rather annoying sound. It took her a few seconds to track the sound, only to realize they were coming from Will. She had forgotten how he tended to snore when he was sleeping on his back. She took a moment to watch him. She took in the features of his face, his slightly crooked nose from where he’d broken it in a basketball game at Georgetown, She took inventory of the bandages on his abdomen and shoulder, the one on his neck scared her the most as she examined it. As she counted she felt the tears starting to build and slide down her face. Somehow she ended up crying in the quiet moments like this. Without all the noise all she could hear was the phone call from Kalinda, the phone call that reminded her how close she had come to losing him. She hoped she’d be able to get it under control as more time passed. As she laid there watching him he started to stir. He opened his Alicia watching him. He had thought about seeing her like this so many times. She was so stunning when she first woke, before the worries and the stress of life set in them. These brief moments in the morning when she was at her weakest that she only shared with him.

                He reached up with his good hand to cup her cheek noticing that there were once again tears in her eyes.

                “Hey, stop that.” His voice was tender and full of love. “No more tears, we’re all exactly where we are supposed to be.” He used his thumb to gently wipe the tears away.

                “Sorry, I’m trying to get this crying thing under control.” She smiled at him. “Good Morning, Gardner.” She had been so wrapped up in her staring that she had forgotten to greet him. “I ‘m going to go shower and get dressed, I have court today against Anthony and I plan on making him rue the day he double crossed me and Cary for Lockhart/Gardner. But before I trounce your newest partner into oblivion I will make you some of my yummiest pancakes.”

                Alicia showered and dressed quickly so that she would be able to spend a few moments with Will before she had to head off to court, she was beyond glad that she had told Cary she’d be going straight to court that morning and would be in after court, it meant she had an extra hour to help Will get dressed, make him breakfast and get him safely home. As she left the bathroom she was greeted with the highly amusing sight of Will trying throw his shoes on his feet since it was still quite uncomfortable for him to bend in half. She couldn’t help but laugh since it reminded her of how many times she had attempted the same move when she was pregnant and had reached the point that her stomach prevented her from bending.

                “Looking Good, Gardner.” She quipped as she was walking over to help him.

                “Oh quiet you, how about instead of laughing at the poor guy who got shot you help the poor guy get his shoes on.” He responded.

                Laughing she helped him get his shoes and then his shirt on. He leaned back on the bed for a few moments while Alicia headed to the kitchen.

                She was standing in the kitchen and had just dropped the batter onto the steaming pan when Will walked up behind her and wrapped his good arm around her and started to gently nibble on her neck just below her ear – the spot that always made her squirm. She sighed and leaned back into his chest while his hands started drifting down her body until it reached the edge of her skirt, then Alicia heard a shocked gasp and a cry of outrage,

                “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!”

Alicia and Will jumped apart.

“I should have known when you asked for a divorce that it was for him. It’s been about him since you started working for him at that damn lawfirm. “

Will had jumped apart from Alicia but made sure to stand close to her and kept his arm on her shoulder. Alicia had been floored. How dare he come into her house and demand answers of her.

“Just what the hell do you think you are doing in my house Peter?”

“Your daughter, you do remember you have a daughter right? Forgot a one of her school books here so I sent Zach on to school and told Grace I’d bring her by and take her to school. Did we interrupt your romantic moment? I am so sorry.” He spat at her, the apology dripping with sarcasm. At the shocking realization that her daughter was in her room Alicia backed down from Peter, she wouldn’t fight her hopefully soon to be ex-husband if the kids could hear her. She understood now the shocked gasp that she had heard was Grace.

“Peter I will not argue with you with our daughter in the house, in fact I will not argue with you in MY house. I don’t answer to you.” Alicia turned to Will, “Will, can you go to my room for a bit I need to talk to Grace then I’ll need to take her to school. Peter, just get the hell o– SHIT!” Alicia had suddenly remembered the pancakes that she had started before Peter had come in. They were well beyond burnt and were smoking, if she didn’t get to them before the smoke reached the ceiling she’d be dealing with an obnoxious smoke detector.

Peter and Will both remained in the places they stood as Alicia turned to remove the smoking pancakes from the stove and threw them into the sink and turned the water on to cool them. She turned back to Will and whispered to him,

“please just go wait for me in my room so I can go talk to Grace.”

Will nodded silently and headed back to Alicia’s room. Alicia took a deep breath finally turning back to Peter.

“Peter I’m not dealing with you right now, you can call my assistant and set up an appointment, but I’ll tell you this, I may have worked at Will’s law firm, but I was only there because of your inability to keep your pants on. Now my priority is our daughter who I need to go talk to so you can get the hell out of here.” Alicia was so mad that she was practically hissing at Peter. Peter knew better than to argue with her when she had reached the quiet seething stage. When she reached this point she was more like a fuse and he didn’t want to be there when that bomb went off. She’d talk when she was ready and when she felt like Grace was taken care of.  Peter turned to leave.

“Tell Grace I’ll see her for family dinner on Wednesday, and that I love her.”

As Peter headed to the door Alicia began the walk to her daughter’s bedroom, too long it was only a few feet and she didn’t have nearly the time she would have liked to contemplate the questions she would inevitably be asked. She approached Grace’s door and knocked’

“Grace, sweetie?” Alicia pushed open the door to find her daughter curled up on her bed hugging her pillow. “Honey you want to talk? If not you’ll just have to listen.” Alicia sat on the bed next to her daughter. “Grace, I didn’t mean for you to walk in and see me with Will and I apologize for that.”

Grace sat up and leaned against her headboard.

“Is Will why you want to divorce dad?”

“Grace, I will always love your father, but there comes a point when you have to realize that something that may have made you happy before, doesn’t make you happy anymore. And sometimes the things and people you love hurt you. If you’re lucky you can leave the pain behind, but for me your father just reminds me of all the hurt and I can’t be happy with that anymore.”

“So does Will make you happy now?”

“Right now he does, and I think he’ll make me happy for a long time, but you don’t need to worry because you and Zach will always make me happier than anything else in the world. And in the future in Will comes over I’ll make sure you know in advance and we’ll make sure you and Zach can meet him.” Alicia paused “now we need to get you to school since I have to go to work. We can talk more later.” Alicia stood up and headed to her daughter’s door to get ready to talk to Will, as she opened the door Grace called her, she turned.

“Mom, growing up sucks. And things changing sucks even more.”

Alicia smiled at her daughter, “you have no idea”

 


	9. Let's Just Call it Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok sorry this chapter took longer than usual to get up I was suffering from severe creativity block. I used a lot of song lyrics buried in the dialogue and a lot of songs for inspirations, and I borrowed a few lines from Pretty Woman.  
> Songs: Girls Chase Boys – Ingrid Michaelson  
>  Stick – Ingrid Michaelson  
>  Cannonball – Lea Michelle  
>  My Skin – Natalie Merchant

“Alicia, I’m sorry. Can we please talk about all this? I love you. Please call me back.”  
Alicia sighed and hung her phone. Peter had been calling a leaving voicemails at least once a day since he had yelled at her. She wanted to call him back but she really didn’t know what to say. She sat at her desk after evening. It was quiet, with no walls the quiet in Florrick/Agos was something to cherish. But that wasn’t why she was sitting at her desk after hours this evening. She just wasn’t ready to go home, she wanted to go see Will but she felt like she needed to talk to Peter and make things better before she ran to Will. 20 years of marriage and 2 kids deserved a better send off than defensive screaming.  
She reached for her phone and dialed the familiar number silently hoping it would go to voicemail. Like most of the day luck wasn’t with her and Peter picked up on the second ring.  
“Hello”  
“Hey Peter, It’s me.” Alicia sighed. She loved Will but when Peter really talked to her, not angry Peter, not political Peter but actual Peter that little part of her heart that he would always occupy would light up. It made things so much harder than people would ever understand.  
“Look I just wanted to talk to you about all this, let’s not make it harder than it has to be. Let’s just call it over.”   
Peter was quiet on the end of the line, Alicia knew when he was quiet like that he was thinking and that he was going to proclaim something profound.  
“Alicia, did I make you happy?”  
“You did Peter, right up until you made me feel like I wasn’t enough for you anymore.”  
“Does Will make you happy like I used to?”  
“Will makes me happy in a different way. I know who I am and I don’t care what other people think about me but when people put you down enough, you start to believe it. The bad stuff is easier to believe. Suddenly I was an ice queen, only I wasn’t and it broke me. I thought you would be able to help me fix it, that I would be enough again, then I found out about Kalinda and all the little pieces fell apart again. I felt like I was becoming untouchable. There was so much I didn’t understand. I still don’t really. I put me back together but Will helped me find the pieces. The light was gone from my world. I was suddenly a single mom, the ice queen that had pushed her husband into the arms of a hooker, I was losing the house my kids had grown up in. My world was dark. Then there was a beacon, a light warning me of the shore and helping me steer the path. Will gave me job and fought for me when no one else would. He reminded me that I was touchable and desirable, he reminded me that I wasn’t frozen. He saw me as Alicia not the scorned housewife. “  
“That’s the first time you’ve ever told me any of that. I never realized.”  
“I guess that was part of the problem, you never saw it, you never heard it. You will always have a place in my heart, 20 years doesn’t disappear but it’s over. Sign the papers so we can both move on, sign the papers so our kids can move on.”  
“I’ll drop them by tomorrow before I head back to Springfield. I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later.”  
“Bye Peter” Alicia started to hang up the phone,  
“Alicia?”   
“yeah?”  
“For what it’s worth, I know I made mistakes, I never realized what they would cost me, I really wasn’t thinking of my family. I’m sorry.”  
“Thanks Peter, we’ll talk soon.”  
Alicia hung up the phone and laid her head down on her desk. She felt emotionally drained, she really did miss when life was less interesting. She heard her phone vibrate and looked up to see who was texting her.  
“drinks?”  
How Kalinda always seemed to know when Alicia needed a friend she would never understand but she wasn’t about to look a t gift horse in the mouth. She texted back,  
“Usual spot? 30 minutes?”  
Kalinda’s reply came back in seconds.  
“see you there”

“So Will tells me you two got caught by Grace and Peter.” Kalinda paused, “So..?”  
The question hung in the air as Alicia sipped her tequila.  
“It was interesting,” Dammit there’s that word again, Alicia thought to herself. She threw back what was left of her shot and signaled for a second round. I felt like a three drink kind of night. She continued,  
“Well Grace was better after I talked to her. It scares me old they’re getting… And I talked to Peter just before I got your text message and I think we got it figured out. I think my life might be finally clicking into place.”  
“I’m glad.” Kalinda signaled to bring another round.  
“Ok this is my last one, then I have to go.”  
The drinks arrived and Alicia and Kalinda toasted,  
“To a life less interesting!”  
The two women stood up to pay their tabs and leave. As they walked out the door together Alicia looked at Kalinda and asked  
“Same time next week?”  
“Sure thing”  
“See you later Kalinda”  
“Bye Alicia.”   
With that the women went their separate ways and Alicia couldn't help but think that another piece had clicked into place.


	10. Secrets in the Dark

Alicia was pulling into traffic when her phone rang.  
  


“…We all, we all, we're gonna be alright  
We got, we got, we always got the fight in us  
We all, we all, we're gonna live tonight…”

Grace had gotten a hold of her phone and played with the ringtones again and she had assigned Will some pop song she’d only heard when Grace was blasting music in the car on the way to school, she kind of liked hearing it but it tended to get stuck in her head. She reasoned that’s she hadn’t tried to figure out how to change it, because she at least knew who was calling without having to look. She answered,

“Rescue me? I’m bored and I’m going to start crawling up walls soon. Diane won’t let me anywhere near the office even just to sit on her couch and look pretty.”  
Alicia laughed at the image of Will Gardner sitting on a couch acting as nothing more than decoration, just the thought was ridiculous.  
“You have your arm in a sling, a fairly large bandage on your neck, and you desperately need a haircut, you’re not looking all that pretty these days, Gardner.”  
“yeah yeah seriously though, I’m going crazy don’t make me beg, and my hair doesn’t look that bad does it?”  
“I was actually just headed your way apparently Grace has some kind of bible study and Zach is trying to cram as much friend time in before he graduates. Pizza good for dinner?”  
“pizza sounds great, can’t wait to see you”  
Alicia stopped for pizza then headed to Will’s apartment. She let herself in his front door and noticed that the apartment was dark except for the light coming from the windows in Will’s living room. She kicked off her heels in the doorway, then made her way carefully to the kitchen and set the pizza on the kitchen counter. She headed down the hall towards Will’s bedroom, calling his name as she went. As she got closer to his bedroom she could see a faint glow from his room. She started down the hallway and felt something rustling under her bare feet, she glanced down and in the faint light could make out a trail of rose petals leading into Will’s bedroom. She followed the trail the faint glow getting brighter until she arrived at his bedroom door. Alicia was stunned to see every available surface in his room was covered in candles. She covered her mouth with her hand as she noticed there was music playing softly. Will spent a lot of time on Spotify these days and had discovered that sometimes a song could say what he was trying to convey a little better than his words. Will walked up behind Alicia and wrapped his arms around her waist and gently kissed her neck and whispered in her ear,  
“So I went to the doctor today.” Will began walking Alicia further into his bedroom towards the bed pausing to trail kisses down her neck. “He said that whenever I’m feeling up to it, I have been cleared to perform more, shall we say…, rigorous activities.”  
“The pizza is going to get cold,” Alicia sighed as she tilted her head to give Will better access to her neck. Will turned her gently in her arms and his lips found hers in a passionate kiss.  
“The pizza can be warmed up, I’ve been waiting to get you in my bed since the first time I heard you say you loved me.”  
Alicia wrapped her arms around his neck being careful of the place where a bullet had almost cut short his life and returned the kiss. They worked their way closer to the bed and left their clothes where they landed and fell onto the bed. 

As the two lay on the bed in the aftermath Will caressed Alicia’s arm as she smiled at him lovingly.  
“So I talked to Peter this evening…” Alicia kept her eyes on Will’s face expecting him to get upset any minute, his face never wavered from the look of pure love. “He asked me if you made me happy”  
Will smiled at her, “and what did you say?”  
“I told him the truth. You were my beacon when I needed something to show me the way, you were my light when my world had gone dark, when you looked at me you saw me. You didn’t see the scorned housewife; you saw me as Alicia Cavanaugh.” Alicia placed a hand gently on Will’s cheek, “and I meant very word of it, it just took me a little time and a lot of heartbreak to realize how much you really meant to me. You’ve been my lighthouse since that first class at Georgetown.”  
Will let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, “ and how did Peter take that?”  
“He said he'd sign the divorce papers and bring them by the office as soon as he could.” Alicia smiled at Will.  
Will seemed a little stunned and Alicia began to get nervous, she had expected something a little more since he had gotten so upset over her postponing the divorce.  
“So what does this mean for us Alicia? I told you I'd wait for you as long as you were in it to and I don't want to scare you so I need you to tell me where we go from here.”  
Alicia was shocked and didn't understand why she had ever pushed this man out of her life, she must have been seriously delusional to think she could make it without him as a presence in her life.  
“Well I think the first step is you need to get to know Zach and Grace, they are my reason for living and without them nothing works.”  
“Well alright then let's start with dinner, your house is probably better since they will have home field advantage, and we’ll go from there.”  
Alicia couldn't help but kiss him after such a statement, although more than ever in her life she was trying to figure out how she could possibly have been so stupid through all of this.  
“Ok we'll I think that makes sense, I guess I'm going to have to relearn all those sports metaphors that you like to use, but u think that sounds like a great plan.” Alicia kissed Will tenderly again then turned to her side and snuggled up next to him and wrapped his arm around her waist.  
Will spoke up quietly, “there's one more thing we might need to do,”  
Alicia turned back to face him, “and what is that?”  
“We have to let Cary and Diane know we’re going to be together.”  
Alicia gasped, “Oh god I hadn't even thought about that, ugh, that is not a conversation I want to have with him, let's deal with dinner with my kids first then cross that river, although I think..., I think Diane might have figured that one out when she called me the other day to see if she should lets come back to work,” Alicia lowered her voice to a whisper, “and I told her to make you stay home a little longer…”  
Will seemed a little bothered by the what she had said, which was why she had avoided telling him until now,  
“she made me promise not to tell you,” Alicia explained, she getting nervous, Will had been quiet for solid minute and she couldn't read his expression with him at her back.  
“ you two better be glad I love you’” Will growled at her. “ and just so you two know I'm going back to work next week. Now these ‘activities’ have worn me out and I want to go to sleep with the woman I love next to me, although I think she owes me pancakes in the morning.”  
Alicia adjusted herself again and kissed will lightly, “ I love you too, Will” Alicia fell asleep quickly, but Will laid awake watching her for a few moments he still couldn't believe that the fates had finally smiled on him and he was able to hold her in his arms again. He must have nodded off because the soon all he could hear were gunshots and he felt the bullets tearing through his shoulder as he dived for the floor, and he was screaming Alicia’s name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this whole weird mess from my brain is also published on fanfiction.net up to like 27 chapters, which I plan to finish at some point. However, as I am editing this I discovered the passage where Will tells Alicia she owes him pancakes and ever since the most recent episode of Once Upon a Time I will never look at pancakes the same... anyways I am going to slowly try to get all the new chapters up here and hope to see y'all around


	11. What Dreams Become

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always with this chapter, I apologize for any heart attacks that may have occurred... Also a big thanks to a good friend who helped me come up with the tragic idea of what Will was doing in that courtroom

Will’s scream woke Alicia. She hadn’t heard screams of terror like that since after 9/11. She and Peter had been in New York and Jackie had accidentally let Zach watch the news coverage. For weeks after Zach had had nightmares that Peter and she were in the buildings as they had collapsed. They had taken him to a psychiatrist who had diagnosed him with PTSD. It had taken a few weeks for the worst of the nightmares to subside. Alicia glanced at the clock and noticed that it was only 4 a.m. The screams sounded familiar but she couldn't place them until she realized that the strangled sobs were Will calling her name. Alicia gently shook his good shoulder.   
“Will, honey you need to wake up, everything is ok, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.” Alicia shook Will a few more times until his eyes finally popped open. Will didn’t say a word as he reached up and grabbed Alicia he held her in a desperate hug and he rocked. After a few moments, he was able to speak,  
“You have to promise to never leave me again, if something had happened to you that day, if it had been you and not me, I wouldn’t have made it. I can’t stand the thought that there could be a world without you in it.”  
“I’m right here are I’m not going anywhere” Alicia repeated. “This is where I want to be”  
Will kissed Alicia's cheeks, and her forehead. He kissed anything he could reach. Alicia's body immediately began to respond. She could feel the tension in Will's body under her fingers as her lips found his in the dark. They had not redressed after the previous evenings "activities" and Will’s hands and fingers were lighting fires everywhere that they touched her. As he kissed her, Alicia could taste the desperation on his breath. Her body strained to meet his and their coupling was hot and fast.  
As they lay close together in the wake of the storm Alicia could still feel the tension radiating from Will in waves.   
“If you want to talk, I'm a pretty good listener…”   
His voice cracked at first and he began telling the story robotically with little emotion.   
“It happened just like that day, only in the dream, you’re in the courtroom and not just in my head. Jeffrey came in from his holding cell, he had a new bruise on his face. He begged me not to ask the judge to put him in solitary, but I didn’t listen, the kid was getting beat up nightly, every day we had court there was another bruise or cut. He seemed, … twitchy…” Will paused and took a breath. “I asked the judge to approach the bench, I told Jeffrey that solitary was better than this. He always had a scared look to him but his face got desperate. Finn and I approached the bench and that was when we heard the first shot, I turned around just in time to see the gun recoil in Jeffrey’s hand and he was getting ready to take another shot   
I had believed in this kid, I thought if I could get his attention that he'd stop shooting. He was just a scared kid literally in the trial of his life. By the time I got to him he'd already shot that professor. The next thing it was kind of like a mind and body disconnect, I heard the gunshot, and I remember thinking that hurt my ears and then I felt the bullet tear through my shoulder and I started to fall to the ground. But I had to get the gun away from him, I didn’t see the gun in his hand all I could see was you, Leesh. You had been in that courtroom the day before and I didn't know if you were even in the courthouse but, all I could see was a bullet slamming into you. And I couldn't let that happen so injured shoulder and all I threw myself at Jeffrey, that's when the second and third bullets hit me. Finn pulled me over to the prosecution’s table. I couldn't talk and breathing was hard but I was screaming your name. It’s funny when something like that happens your life is supposed to flash before your eyes, but mine didn't. All that played were memories of you and me and your face. There was blood everywhere and I just wanted to close my eyes and watch your face play across my eyelids. Then Kalinda was there and she was trying to talk to me. She kept telling me not to close my eyes and I wanted to tell her to shut up, I wanted to tell her to find you, to find you and tell you that I loved you. But in the dream, you’re there right In front of the gun and I can't get to you. I'm lying on Finn’s leg and I can't get to you. Kalinda doesn't know you’re there, she doesn't see you laying on the ground and she’s trying to keep me awake and I'm trying to get her to go to you, I need her to help you but she doesn't hear what I’m saying because of the second shot, the one through my neck.”  
Alicia gently extracted herself from Will's grip and went to the kitchen she grabbed a glass of water for Will and found a washcloth to wet with cool water for his face. She returns to his bedroom and sits down next to him as she hands him the glass and waits as he takes a sip then wipes his face gently with the washcloth. When she's done she takes his face between her hands and places a delicate kiss on his forehead.   
"You called me that day, do you remember? I spent the whole night trying to figure out what you wanted to say to me in that voicemail. I thought it was going to be the last thing I ever heard you say."  
"I called to tell you that I needed to see you, I wanted to tell you that I wanted to figure out a way to make this work, but I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice and tell you in a voicemail, I was going to tell you in person and I was going to make you listen to me. "  
"I'll never be gladder that you got the chance to tell me all this, I had nightmares that I'd spend the rest of my life trying to find out what happened in that courtroom, and that I'd never get the chance to tell you all that I needed to tell you." Alicia wiped the tears from her face   
Will finished his water and he and Alicia laid back on the bed together. Alicia sat in stunned silence, she didn’t know that she had that kind of power over Will. He had been willing to give up his life on the off chance that she might have been in that courtroom. She reached out and pulled Will’s head to her chest and rubbed circles on his back until she felt him doze off. When she was sure he was asleep she used her years of practice as a mom to slide him gently to his pillow, granted it was much harder with a grown man versus toddlers and teenagers, and she left his bedroom.   
Alicia walked to the picture window in Will’s living room. It was peaceful to see the lights and watch the city sleep. Everything was happening so fast these days. The divorce, her and Will, Zach would be heading to Georgetown soon. Alicia just needed a moment. A moment when everything wasn’t so all over the place.


	12. Life's a Beach

The sun was rising over the building tops of downtown as Alicia rested her forehead against the window. It was such a hard feeling to be so happy and yet so conflicted. Maybe she did need a therapist.   
That was how Will found her she had thrown on one of his button up shirts and it reached her knees, what was it about that woman in one of his shirts? She looked like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders though a smile played across her lips. He walked to her with a cup of coffee for her in his hands.  
“Why so serious?”  
“Just thinking.” Alicia accepted the cup of coffee Will handed her. She took a sip slightly amazed to find that he had made her coffee exactly the way she liked it. He hadn’t brought her coffee in quite literally years.   
“you remembered” she murmured. Ugh, this was all so confusing, she sure as hell didn’t want Peter anymore and she wanted Will, she really did want forever with him but it was just all happening so fast and she couldn’t keep up.   
“Alicia, I’ll remember your coffee order as long as I have a memory to store it in. I can’t count the number of times that you ordered it after studying for hours. You have this thing you do with the first sip like it’s the best thing you’ve ever tasted even when it’s the grossest coffee you’ve ever had. So what’s going on in your brilliant brain?”  
Alicia gave a scornful laugh, “what am I not thinking about?”   
Alicia didn’t want to talk about it with Will until she’d had some time to think about it on her own, away from everyone. Alicia turned to look at the sunrise to give herself a moment. She’d been locking away her emotions for years, she took all the fear and doubt she had swirling in her mind and stuffed them in the little box where she kept them to take them out later to contemplate.  
She turned back to Will with a smile, not only did she not want to talk to him about the thoughts in her head, she really didn’t want to upset him after last night.  
Will knew something was up. She thought she was fooling him with that smile but even after 20 years, he knew that smile, it was the one she wore when something was bothering her but she didn’t want anyone to ask. It was her shield smile. Unfortunately, he knew there was nothing he could to bring her mind to ease, she’d get where she needed to go in her own time. In the meantime they were supposed to have dinner with her kids tomorrow night, so today he was going to make Alicia smile. A real smile. that show stopping, computer wallpaper worthy, smile.   
Will was determined to get Alicia out of the house. He was quite tired of his house and refused to spend another second in it during the daylight hours. Especially not when he had Alicia to spend the day with him, out in the open for all the world to see.  
After Alicia and Will got dressed for the day Will dragged Alicia to his convertible and threw Alicia a Georgetown hoodie. He didn’t tell Alicia where they were going but his plan was to drag her up to the beach and enjoy the sun.  
“Where are you taking me? You know people will miss me, mainly my partner, he worries if he hasn’t bothered me with a case in 2 hours.”  
“Hush woman, sit back and relax. Enjoy the wind in your hair and the sun on your face.”  
They traveled along until Will saw little shop to run into and grab something for lunch. They spent hours walking along the water holding their shoes in their hands with their jeans rolled up to their knees. Will could swear you could see the tension evaporating off of Alicia with the wind and the sun. By the time they headed back to the car for the drive back to the city, Will could see the Alicia from Georgetown. She looked years younger. He’d spend his whole life making sure that the smile she wore now would stay on her face. No matter what it took.  
They headed back to the city. As they cruised along Alicia was so relaxed she laid her head against the window and dozed off. Will watched her sleep when he could and he hated to wake her when they got back to his apartment.   
“Leesh, sweetie we’re home.” Will gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead.  
“hey, sorry I dozed off like that” Alicia yawned and got ready to get out of the car.   
Alicia followed Will into his living room, then headed to the bedroom to gather her stuff.  
Will walked her to the door, and Alicia leaned in to give him a kiss.  
“Thanks for today, it was one of the best days I’ve had in a very long time.”  
“Alicia, I’d do anything to see that smile.”  
“It’s only for you. Anyways I have to go home tonight so that I can get things ready for tomorrow night. I love you and I’ll call you later tonight.”  
“I love you too, we said six thirty right?” Will pulled Alicia in for a loving kiss and allowed his hands to wander. Alicia giggled and tried to slip away,  
“Will, I have to go,”   
“I think you have plenty of time to go home and I want you”  
As Alicia tried to go for the door she found herself trapped against it by Will. She inhaled sharply. What was it about having him so close to her that made her forget everything? Including the fact that she needed to get home to get things ready for tomorrow. In mere moments the flame between them was burning hot enough that Alicia no longer had thoughts of leaving and she was tearing at Will’s jeans and unbuttoning his shirt.


	13. These Little Moments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title based on the song Little Wonders by Rob Thomas

“She was like the moon  
\- Part of her  
was always hidden”

 

Alicia groaned as she woke with the sun on her face. She was getting used to waking up at Will’s apartment. She really had meant to go home last night. She wanted some time to think before Will came over and the kids came home from their dad’s. Her list of things to do didn’t get smaller when she had sex, no the nasty side effect of having sex again meant that a lot of important things ended up being pushed to the back burner to make time for sex, like thinking about the situation that was bringing the great sex into your life.  


Alicia rolled over to watch him sleep. She really didn’t want to have to wake him up, but she really had to get going and get started on the list of things she had intended to do last night. She kissed him awake gently,  
“Hey honey, you got your night, now I have to get home and get things ready for tonight.” She leaned over and kissed him one last time and started to climb out of bed. Will growled at the intrusion, but he spoke quietly to her,  
“Ok, I’ll miss you. And I’ll see you at 6:30.” He was still half asleep and was fighting a battle to stay awake as he mumbled to her, “need… anything?” followed by a quiet snore.  
Years of waking up teenagers for school allowed Alicia to decipher the half spoken and half snored sentence. Alicia was figuring that he was asking her if she needed him to bring anything for tonight. She didn’t need him to bring anything, but she had the distinct that if she had told him to bring something he wouldn’t remember it anyways.  
She got dressed and headed to her car. As she walked she made lists in her mind. She needed to figure out dinner, she had a few briefs from the office she needed to read, there was the never-ending list of emails waiting for her attention and of course the item on the list weighing heaviest on her mind; Mr. Will Gardner, and the road she had chosen to take with him.  
She put the list in her mind in order. The first item on the list being to figure out dinner, it seemed the most pressing since she needed to go to the grocery store and buy the stuff for it. As she drove to the grocery store she contemplated dinner choices.  
By the time Alicia had finished at the grocery store she realized she was running on energy made solely available to moms. She made a quick stop at her favorite place to buy wine while she wondered how she had the brain power to remember everything she did.  
Lost in a sea of emails and paperwork, Alicia didn’t realize that 6:00 had rolled around. It was Zach and Grace walking in the door that had her jumping from the couch. The roast was happily simmering away in the oven and she needed to hop in the shower.  
Will arrived promptly at 6:25 holding a bottle of wine and a smile that would have brought the hardest woman to her knees. Alicia greeted him at the entrance way and they got the evening under way.

The evening went wonderfully, they even managed to play a couple of rounds of Trivial Pursuit with Will and Grace teaming up against Alicia and Zach. Will and Grace managed to beat Alicia and Zach. It was around 10:30 when Will announced that he had reached his limit and that he needed to head home.  
Watching Will say goodbye to her kids was the most humbling experience she had ever had. She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t trusted herself and her kids to do this before. All Alicia could think was at least that was one thing less she’d have to worry about.  
Alicia walked Alicia to the door and kissed him goodnight in the hallway.  
“Alicia you have the most wonderful children, not that I wouldn’t have expected it, I always thought you’d be an amazing mom.” Will reached up to caress Alicia’s cheek,  
“Thanks for last night, and I had a great time this evening. I’ll call you when I get home.”  
Alicia didn’t know what to say. How was it that Will Gardner could leave her speechless so many times a day? She’s never spent so much time trying to find words than when Will looked at her. Instead, Alicia decided to do something she hadn’t done before and she leads with her heart instead of her brain. She leaned and kissed Will. She poured all of the emotions running around in her head and heart into it. And from Will’s reaction, she knew that he understood. With a last glance and a whispered I love you, Will turned to the elevator.  
“Will?”  
“Alicia?” Will asked humorously  
“I love you too”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ok so short chapter this time I have the next chapter in the works, it’ll be a little different but I think that you will all love it! So until next time, Happy reading! Also upon editing this, I realized I gave Alicia like the quickest shower and getting ready in the world, so the time has been edited from the original to be more realistic.


	14. Life or Something Like it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is a little different and focuses on Will and how he is dealing with life post-shooting. The quote used is from F. Scott Fitzgerald and is used in its entirety. Also, I leaned heavily on the song How am I Supposed to Live Without You by Michael Bolton and I recommend giving it a listen while you read.

Will sat at his desk. As much as he had liked spending some time off he was glad to be in the offices of Lockhart/ Gardner, in many ways LG was more his home than many other places. The only problem he was having now was that Alicia and Diane had conspired against him and they wouldn’t let him anywhere near a courtroom.  
It had been two months since the shooting and he had been home from the hospital for a month but the women in his life thought he needed more time. Alicia was terrified about what would happen if he was assigned to Judge Politi again. If he was being honest he was a little scared himself, he’d had a few more nightmares since that night with Alicia, it was definitely easier to recover from them when he woke up next to her, he preferred not to tell her about the ones he had when she wasn’t with him which luckily hadn’t been more than a handful.  
Dinner at Alicia’s house became a weekly thing and he found himself browsing board games during the times of boredom at work so that he would have new games for them all to play when he came over. Will was still just coming over to Alicia’. She wasn’t sure how the kids would handle going to his house but she came to him whenever the kids were with Peter.  
Everything seemed to be going pretty good until he found himself in these little moments with very little to do, he had just finished a deposition that Diane had asked him to take and was staring out the window. As he sat his thoughts, as they so often did, found their way to Alicia.  
He thought of a quote from F.Scott Fitzgerald that he had found so fitting  


“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self-respect, and it’s these things I’d believe in… I love her and it is the beginning of everything.”  


It had been those words that had made him realize that he had loved her ever since Georgetown. He could remember showing up on her doorstep after hearing from a mutual friend that Peter had asked her to marry him. He had wanted to ask her how he was supposed to live without her. He had never told her that he had hoped that one day they would be so much more than friends. He had smiled at her and told her he was glad that she was getting her dream come true. But still, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to live without her. He had realized when she called his name on her first day at Lockhart/Gardner that he had never forgotten her, worse was the realization that he had been in love with her for 20 years. It all made him wonder what it was about Peter that had sucked her out of his life in the first place. If he had had even the slightest clue that things would turn out the way they had he would have told her that day on her doorstep not to marry Peter but instead to give him the chance to make her happy, that he had built his future around her. But instead, she had told him about Zach.  
When he really thought about it, he didn’t understand Peter, he didn’t get how you could possibly want anything else when you had Alicia Cavanaugh in your bed. In a way though he had to thank Peter, had it not been for Peter’s idiocy Alicia wouldn’t have had to begin her search for a job and she wouldn’t be back in his life.  
He had been so mad at her when he had heard from Diane that she was leaving. He didn’t care that she was taking the clients with her, ok well he cared a little, but mostly it had been that after they had come so far together she didn’t trust him enough to tell him. For three weeks, she had known and planned her departure. He had tried so hard to hate her, just like he had told her that day in the hospital, for every breath he had tried to take hating her he took two more loving her. Which made hating her all the worse.  
It was thoughts like this that made him think about her being in the courtroom that day. It was bad enough that the thoughts entered his dreams but it was worse when the thoughts slipped in during the day. When the thoughts slipped in during the day there was no recourse, he couldn’t call Alicia, and while he knew that both Kalinda and Diane would listen he didn’t think either really needed to be burdened by the thoughts that overtook his brain at random parts of the day. Instead, he tried to think instead of how very lucky he was that she was back in his life.  
As he sat he pondered the crazy that was his life now. He liked to think of it as before and after, life before the shooting and life after the shooting. He had to be honest, he would never have thought that life after a shooting would actually be pretty damn good. It was while he sat like this, that someone approached his door. Will didn’t look up until the knock, Kalinda stood in his doorway,  
“you would think the name partner of a law firm would have more to do than stare out the window in the middle of a busy work day.” Kalinda deadpanned. “Wanna get some lunch? You know if you can fit it into your busy schedule?”  
Will practically growled at her of all the women in his life in this moment he probably liked her the best, she seemed to understand that he needed to get back to work and had taken to inviting him to lunch to sneak him case files to get his input which she then quietly passed on to the junior associates, it wasn’t much but it was something and it was better than staring at the wall.  
However, this time she really did just want to have lunch with him. They sat eating cheeseburgers at some little dive Kalinda loved to visit.  
“How are things going with Alicia?”  
“Pretty darn good to be honest” Will smiled.  
“and her kids?”  
“I always knew Alicia would be an amazing mom I just never realized how great she would be.”  
Kalinda and Will sat and talked for almost an hour when Kalinda realized she needed to get back to the office for a client meeting with Diane.  
The pair split up at the reception desk when Will was flagged down by the receptionist,  
“Mr. Gardner? There’s a young woman waiting for you in your office, she said you weren’t expecting her but she said it was very urgent and she seemed pretty upset”  
“Thanks, Jill, I’ll take care of it”  
Will headed back to his office and as he passed his assistant he asked her to bring in two cups of coffee. Will walked into his office and, just as he had expected when he heard that there was a young woman in his office, he greeted his guest.  
“Grace? Is everything okay? What’s going on?”  
Will’s assistant popped in that moment with the coffee and handed a cup to the teenager, she took a sip as if preparing to announce something huge.  
“I think the term is ‘the shit has hit the fan.”


	15. So Done

 

_** Will and Grace ** _

 

Will was quiet as Grace continued.

           “so  Zach got a phone call from an unknown number last night,” she paused and sipped her coffee, "Can I get some cream and sugar?” “So anyways he didn’t know the number but he answered it

"Can I get some cream and sugar? So anyways he didn’t know the number but he answered it anyway and it was some reporter, and they wanted to know how Zach was handling his parents' divorce, but that wasn’t the worst part, the worst part is apparently there was a rumor about my dad sleeping with an intern, some redhead. Well, he was; apparently it wasn’t a rumor but she was two-timing my dad. Ironic isn’t it? Anyways.” Grace took another drink, then got up and started to pace.

            Will couldn’t help but think in that moment how much Grace looked like her mother. He was pulled back into the moment.

            “So this redhead got information on some voter fraud thing and she passed it on to her reporter boyfriend.” Grace continued pacing back and forth, “and I guess she has pictures of something she found in my dad’s office and they plan to pass all this on to someone in charge, but I don’t think my mom knows and well me and Zach didn’t know what to do so what do we do Will?”

            Will was taken aback he hadn’t expected Grace to come to him about anything like this. He needed a moment to think.

            “okay so I think we need to tell your mom so that she knows what’s going on and can prepare herself, and she needs to know so she can talk to your dad. Now can I ask you one thing?”

            Grace stopped her pacing to look at Will, “yeah?”

            “Why aren’t you in school?”

            “I have a free period so I took the EL to get here to talk to you.”

            “ok well let’s get you back to school before they notice you missing and call your mom and scare her, then I’ll call her and let her know what’s going on, and we’ll make a plan, you know how your mom likes plans.”

            “Thanks, Will” Grace smiled at him and more than ever she reminded Will of her mother.

   They drove in mostly silence on the way to Grace’s school with Grace directing him when necessary, both were lost in their own worlds, Will digesting the information that Grace had given him and Grace was thinking about whether or not she had made the right choice coming to Will, part of her wondered if maybe her dad would have been a better choice, but she thought that getting the information from Will would be better than her mom getting it from the news or her dad. When they arrived at Grace’s school Will assured her that she had done the right thing coming to him and let her know that she could call or come see him anytime she needed to. Grace thanked him again as she got out of the car, then headed into the building. Will pulled out his cell phone and dialed Alicia.

 

 

** Alicia **

“…We all, we all, we're gonna be alright  
We got, we got, we always got the fight in us  
We all, we all, we're gonna live tonight…”

 

Alicia heard her phone ringing and excused herself from her conversation with Carey and Robyn.

            “Will, what’s up?”

            “Hey honey, you busy right now?”

            “I think I have a few minutes free if you need me to.”

            “Yeah I can’t really tell you over the phone so can I meet you somewhere?”

            “Wanna meet at the office?” Alicia could sense something was off with Will, when he had first called her she had thought maybe he wanted to  have one of their  ‘lunches’ but now she could tell this probably wasn’t a happy get together.

            “I’d rather not, maybe a coffee shop or some place like that?”

            “Ok I’ll meet you at the Starbucks on East Jackson in about 20 minutes? I need to let Cary know I’m going out.”

            “See you in a bit, Love you”

            “Love you, too” Alicia hung up the phone and started to gather her things then glanced at the clock it was only 2:00 but she figured she could just take her work with her and work from home after she talked to Will. She found Cary and let him know she’d be out for the rest of the day and headed to the rickety elevator.

            Will was waiting for her with a coffee in the back of the coffee shop, he smiled as he saw her approach.

            “Hey Beautiful”

            Alicia kissed him on the cheek and stopped him from standing up,

           “Whats’s going on, Will, you sounded serious on the phone.”

            Will floundered a little bit he had forgotten that she could sense when something was amiss,

            “So, Grace came to my office today, about two hours ago, I dropped her off at her school right before I called you.”

            “Grace came to your office?” Alicia looked confused, “why would Grace come to your office? Why wasn’t she at school? Was she ok?”

            Will reached for Alicia’s hand, “Grace is fine, physically, but she found out something and she wasn’t sure how to handle it.”

            “Zach got a phone call last weekend, and the press knows about the divorce.”

            Alicia sighed, “Well it was bound to get out do they know about us?”

            “I don’t think so but Alicia, there’s more.”

            Alicia gave a strangled laugh, “of course why wouldn’t there be more, just when life was starting to get less interesting.”

            “Alicia, Peter was having another affair, he was involved with an intern.” Will paused to gauge Alicia’s reaction before he continued, “This intern was working Peter over and the whole affair was a set up, Alicia, they know about the video and the investigation.”

            Alicia laid her head down on the table and laughed soundlessly,

            ‘Leesh? You ok?”

             “you know, Will I’m not even upset, hurt or angry anymore. I’m just tired. I’m tired of putting in more effort than I got back. I’m tired of holding on for nothing. I’m tired of believing all his lies. I’m tired of him proving me wrong. I’m tired of getting my hopes up and being disappointed. I’m tired of thinking it will be different and every time it’s the same old thing. Even worse than being lied to is this feeling that I wasn’t worth telling the truth. What the hell is wrong with me Will? Why did I think this time would be any different? Will? Can you take me home?  I just need to get home before the press finds me.”

               Will stood up and took Alicia by the hand, “Come on I’ll take you home.” Will helped her out of the chair then sheltered her body with his as they left the coffee shop, he opened the car door  and helped her into the car. She was quiet which Will knew would lead to the tears, and he didn’t want to be Peter when her tears fueled her anger. He’d been on the wrong side of Alicia’s wrath before and he’d do anything he could not to end up there again.

 

 


	16. Now He's Done It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was totally inspired by Alicia in All Tapped Out (S05E18) So hopefully, you can picture the scene. I rocked out to Blown Away by Carrie Underwood while writing this, and the ending is from Airplanes by B.O.B

Just as Will predicted Alicia had broken down and cried, He had taken her home and she excused herself to take a shower and Will found her sitting on the floor of the shower with tears pouring down her face mixing with the spray of the shower, he hated seeing her that broken, she had looked up at him and asked in a pitiful and tearful voice,

“Does it ever stop Will? Does it ever get better? And stay better?” 

Will helped her out of the shower and into bed with a glass of wine, he didn’t even try to get her to eat he knew she’d get there in her own time. He did briefly consider calling Owen but then decided he’d see what the blowback from the press would be. But just as he suspected she woke up the next morning angry.

If tornados were named, this one would have been named Alicia. People moved out of the way, no one dared to stop her, people in the Governor’s mansion had learned when the First Lady was moving like that you got the hell out of the way. Alicia was a woman on a warpath and heaven alone could save the poor bastard that was about to be on the receiving end of her wrath in a few seconds. There were storm clouds gathered behind her hazel eyes.

There's not enough wind in the Chicago to blow away the anger and hurt Alicia felt, but she wasn’t stopping until every tear soaked memory was blown away and there was nothing left of yesterday.

“WHAT IN THE GODDAMNED HELL DID YOU DO, PETER!? WAS IT JUST THE ONE INTERN OR SHOULD I BE EXPECTING THEM ALL TO COME OUT OF THE WOODWORK IN A FEW WEEKS?”  
Alicia was beyond pissed and she was so angry she didn’t even have to pause for breath as she continued yelling at her soon to be ex-husband. “YOU HAD THE GALL TO WALK INTO MY APARTMENT, MY HOME, AND JUDGE ME FOR BEING WITH A MAN I HAPPEN TO BE IN LOVE WITH WHILE YOU DIDDLED AWAY WITH SOME WHORE FROM THE OFFICE!?”

Peter was truly a politician, he merely raised an eyebrow at Alicia and introduced her to the senator that was sitting in his office,

“Senator, you remember my wife Alicia?”

At the sound of the yelling Eli Gold had come running in, he glanced around the room and Alicia immediately looked at him and yelled,

“GET OUT!”

Eli calmly approached the senator,

“Senator why don’t you come with me and we can set up another meeting time for you and the governor”

As Eli and the senator left the room, Alicia barely waited until they had reached the threshold and Eli pulled the door shut behind him before she continued,

“20 years. For 20 years I tried, I stood by you when they told me I was dumb and couldn’t believe it, I played The Good Wife. I held it together when I found out that you slept with hookers, I let you back in after I found out that you slept with the woman I considered my best friend. But this? Jesus Christ Peter, I thought you had a fucking brain, did you know anything about the stupid girl or do you just shove it into any willing participant and ask questions later?”

Peter was finally starting to look a little shocked and Alicia was running out of steam, she was still plenty angry but she was sliding back into the seething and quiet anger. 

“What are you talking about Alicia?”

“Oh, you don’t know? In a few days, all of Chicago will. It seems your newest “friend” had other “friends” they know about the divorce, but what’s worse is they know about the voter fraud investigation and the video, Peter. I told you to fix this months ago, you figure this out now or I break client/attorney and tell Dubek everything I know, including what Will has told me. I’ve seen the video and I will not let you take Will and I down with you.”

Alicia turned and started to walk from the room and Peter didn’t even have time to blink let alone answer Alicia. As she turned around Peter tried to stop her,

“Fuck You, Peter” With one last look Alicia left the room and headed back to her car. She opened her car door and sat in the parking lot with her forehead resting on the steering wheel. What the hell did I just do? What were you thinking? You can’t get angry like that at Peter’s office.

Alicia grabbed her phone and dialed Will,

“I think I did something really stupid…”

“Well good morning to you too, need to talk?”

Three words. That was all it took for Will to have Alicia telling him everything after she finished all she could hear was Will cracking up.

“To have been a fly on the wall. But seriously, Alicia do you feel better now?”

“No I feel stupid, I let him get to me, and I let him get the best of me again. I’m tired of being angry Will, and somehow despite everything, I still ended being a victim again.”

“Alicia, you are not the victim, you stood up for yourself, you told him how it is, and now you’re going to go to YOUR law firm, and be one of the top lawyers in Chicago. And even better the top litigator in Chicago and the 16th most eligible bachelor of Chicago is madly in love with you.”  
“Yeah yeah, I love you, too. Thanks, Will. You coming for dinner tonight?”  
“You want me to come to dinner tonight?”  
“I want you to come to dinner every night”  
“Then I’ll be there.”  
“See you around 7?”  
“Sounds great I’ll be there, I’ll talk to you later, Leesh.”

Alicia knows she really should go back to work but she’s just not ready, instead, she dials another number on her phone,

“How do you feel about drinking at 11:30 in the morning?”  
“It’s five o’clock somewhere. You wanna meet at the usual place?”  
“No it’s bad enough that I just yelled at Peter in front a senator, let’s go somewhere people won’t recognize me”  
“So you want to get a drink in Mexico?”  
“That was so funny I forgot to last. Really though have you got any ideas?”  
“yeah, I know a place, where you at?”  
“The Thompson Center.”  
“Ok then, I’ll pick you up at your office in about 20 minutes?”  
“Need me to call Will for you?”  
“Nah I got it covered. See you in a bit”  
“Great, thanks, K.”  
Alicia hung up the phone and headed back to her office, but she didn’t go inside. Instead, she parked her car and texted Cary,  
Life sucks  
Meeting k to get drunk  
See you tomorrow  
Kalinda walked down to Will’s office and knocked on his door frame he was reviewing a case file and didn’t look up right away. Kalinda knocked a second time and Will looked up.

“she called you to rescue her?”  
“says she wants to get drunk, so I’ll see you tomorrow”  
“sounds good”  
Kalinda turned around to leave,  
“Hey K?”  
Kalinda stopped walking and turned back to Will,  
“yeah”  
“take care of her, you’re the only one she’ll let.”  
“I told you, Will I’ve got your back, always will.”


	17. Here's to Us

The bar the two women sat in at barely before noon was the last place you would expect to find the First Lady of Illinois. It wasn’t seedy but certainly was a far reach from the usual hotel and upscale bars of Downtown Chicago Alicia and Kalinda usually frequented.  
The women had only been there for about 20 minutes but seemed to be well on their way to being trashed. Kalinda ordered another round from a rough looking bartender with hair down his back and tattoos up both arms. Alicia and Kalinda were far enough gone to have had a discussion about whether or not the bartender was a guy or a girl followed but giggles. Alicia couldn’t help but remember a night 5 years ago when she and Kalinda had been drinking and a random stranger had hit on her and Kalinda and she couldn’t help but laugh at the man. It was odd how history seemed to be repeating only under different circumstances. As she sat laughing with her friend she thought about how much her life had sucked without Kalinda in it, not having Kalinda had been almost as bad as not having Will. It was well after 4 in the afternoon when Kalinda excused herself and stumbled to the bathroom. When she reached the bathroom, she dialed Will’s cellphone trying her hardest not to giggle she announced to Will,  
“you’re up slugger, you gotta pitch this one all the way home.” Kalinda barely got the sentence out before dissolving into a fit of giggles.  
“And where can I find this particular ballpark?”  
Kalinda gave him the address to the bar and told him to take a cab so that he could drive her car home. She hung up the phone and returned to the booth to find Alicia launching peanuts at the opposite side of the booth with a spoon. Kalinda gave her a quizzical look which causes Alicia to giggle hysterically.

“I used to do stuff like this for the kids. During the first campaign when there were events we had to be there as a family for. I would invent games for them to play sitting at the tables. “God that was so long ago” Alicia stared off with a dreamy look on her face. She shook herself out of her silent reverie and looked at Kalinda.   
“did you ever imagine this is how your life would turn out K? I have it all, I am still technically the First Lady of Illinois, two great kids and a gorgeous house in Highland Park. And you know that with the exception of my kids I’d rather have none of it. I just want to be an amazing lawyer that wins cases. I want life to be far less interesting than it is.”  
As Alicia took another sip of her tequila, Kalinda noticed a familiar face enter the bar, and she raised her hand to get his attention extremely thankful for the distraction from the serious turn the conversation had just taken. 

Will approached the two women trying to hide his grin, the two probably did not realize how disheveled they looked.   
“I hear you two ordered a baseball play to bat clean up?”  
At the familiar voice, Alicia jumped and turned in her seat. For a reason only Alicia would know fueled by more alcohol than she had consumed since college, she started giggling yet again. Her giggles set of a mini-chain reaction causing Kalinda to giggle along with her.  
Will found himself lost   
“You know laughing at a man is not the best way to boost his ego…”   
It was Kalinda who answered him,   
“if you came here for an ego boost you came to the wrong bar,” Kalinda tried her hardest to keep a straight face but couldn’t handle it and immediately began giggling again. Will surveyed the scene and determined for the health and safety of two of the most important women in his life he’d better get them home.   
“Well since I’m not here for an ego bump how about instead I get to walk out of here with two stunning women?”  
Alicia and Kalinda eyed each other and this time broke out into full blown laughter. Will walked to the bar and asked the bartender for the ladies’ tab and proceeded to pay it in full as well as leaving a generous tip. Then he walked back to the booth and asked Kalinda for her keys.  
Neither woman was really able to keep themselves upright so Will stood between the two of them and acted as a leaning post for them. They headed to Kalinda’s SUV and he put Alicia in the backseat and belted her in. Alicia giggled as he placed the seatbelt across her waist. Will returned to where he had left Kalinda leaning against the car and he walked her to the driver’s side of the car and proceeded to strap her into the backseat just as he had Alicia, which had Kalinda slapping at him   
“Stupid”  
The two women giggled most of the ride to Kalinda’s apartment. Will left Alicia in the car and walked K to her door. He assured her that he would get her car back to her and hurried back to the car. While he was gone, Alicia had managed to put herself in the front seat. Will checked to assure her that seatbelt was fastened then turned the car on and pulled into traffic. As they drove Alicia stared at Will until suddenly she reached over and clumsily began pulling his tie off and then ruffling his hair. She sat back in her seat grinning.  
“What was that for?”  
“you looked too serious, I like you better when you are a little messy!”  
“I see. Well please then by all means.”  
“Nah it’s good now.” Alicia continued to stare at Will as they drove toward her house.  
“quit staring at me you’re making me nervous.”  
“Deal with it Gardner, I’m going to be doing it for the rest of your life.”  
The happy feeling that shot through Will at the sound of Alicia speaking of the future with him filled him and he grinned like an idiot.   
“don’t take me home Will, take me to your house. Let me spend the night with you. I want to be somewhere that Peter can’t find me easily and maybe spend the evening to some ‘extracurricular’ activities if you were interested” Alicia let her hand slide up Will’s thigh making lazy circles with her fingers, Will placed his hand on top of hers and gently squeezed her fingers,  
“You’re making it hard for me to concentrate on driving, and as I’ve already had a brush with death this year and I try to keep them to a minimum. So, if you can wait we’ll be at my apartment in about 10 minutes and then you can do whatever you want to me.”

The rest of the ride passed in silence until they reached Will’s apartment and pulled into a parking space. Will helped Alicia in the door and she immediately launched herself at him unsteadily as soon as he had her in the front door. While still kissing her Will backed her up to the couch and gently pushed her down onto the cushions. He broke contact for a moment to tell her to wait just a moment so that he could get her some water. She protested as he backed away and headed to the kitchen. When he returned moments later he found Alicia curled into the cushions and completely dead to the world. As gently as he could although he didn’t think she’d have noticed either way Will carried Alicia to his bedroom and placed her on his bed. She had already kicked off her shoes when she had curled up on his couch so he removed her business suit and put one of his Georgetown shirts on her. He managed to accomplish this with no assistance from Alicia and only minimal protest displaying to Will just how out of it, she was. It was still early in the evening so he decided to order them some food and to settle in and watch TV next to her. Just before he settled in he set out some Tylenol and the water bottle he had grabbed earlier on the nightstand on her side of the bed. He hoped that she would feel better about the situation with Peter after this because the possible hangover in the morning would be a high price to pay to not receive any relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene with Alicia ruffling Will’s hair and loosening his tie was inspired by an amazing Tumblr follower who gave me the idea, and I promised her that I was going to use it. Once I figure out which one it was I’ll gladly tag her until then know that there is untapped Willicia genius floating around Tumblr!


End file.
